But I've an idea as well as you, grounded in some measure upon Sheppard's story. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. You disgust me. But I never seen Mr Charvill, and when the Frenchie come out, I followed him again, like you told me. I thought that I was marrying Meysey Hill, not that creature. One doesn’t go about with these passions allayed simply because they have made wreckage and a scandal. He still watched her and questioned her. Supposing you fetch what you can, and if you will allow me, I will see you off. You had better go to bed. The thought did not occur to her, for all thought had flown out of her head. “All the time he is shouting and muttering.
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