“Come upstairs,” she said, “and I will show you your room. So Ruth found that for a while her eyes were free. I have suffered all this. He had made it even easier by walking up the steps instead of taking the elevator. He will return, and you shall be awaiting his arrival!” When her own underarms and groin turned pink, then blue, then black, she confined herself to bed. She was suddenly grave. ’ ‘Are we to infer that he had a choice?’ enquired Gerald. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. I want to be a person by myself, and to pull my own strings.
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